I’ve been seeing this phrase all over instagram the past few weeks and kept telling myself, “it’s not the right time for me” and “just do the best you can right now” and “progress, not perfection” but my reality is not pretty. As a teacher my new year is in June. I complete my Whole30s in June; I get shit done in June. I let myself slide under the surface during the school year because my job takes so much out of my energy and willpower and my family takes whatever is left.
I am not somebody who is successful with moderation. I can’t just have “one soda on occasion” because occasions start to happen weekly and then next it’s daily and before I know it I’m buying a pallet of Diet Coke from Costco to reload my work fridge with that chemical-loaded caffeinated bubbly nectar. I can’t “treat yo-self” with “worth it” foods because I live with my sugar dragon on my shoulder whispering sweet nothings in my ear and converting all sugar to worth-it sugar. And yet, I tell myself I can do those things and be those things because it works so well for people who have their shit together. People who have followed a wholesome lifestyle for years and know themselves well. That’s not me. I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I obsess, I crave, I binge, I suffer (headaches, sluggishness, etc) although thankfully I don’t regret- I’ve had too many struggles that have taught me to love myself to let a pint of Ben & Jerry’s put me down.
But it’s funny because I also love to cook. In fact, despite the lack of “What We Ate” posts I’ve still been cooking great meals for my family. When I cook I love to cook dairy free, grain free, gluten free, sweetener free, veggie and protein packed meals that are delicious! I cook 3-4 nights per week and I meal prep breakfast and lunch 5 days per week. That means out of approximately 21 meals per week 14 are on point. Unfortunately, moderation does not work. The other 7 meals are Little Caesars, Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Donuts or whatever is fast easy and cheap. I need a reset. Not in June when it’s easiest, but now. And it’s not just me. My husband needs a reset and my son (almost two) needs a reset. In fact, I’m convinced that all of the issues we have been facing with our moods and our energy levels can be sourced to the refined sugars and refined grains that have weaseled into our daily lives.
So for now, instead of posting after the fact (which obviously didn’t work) I think I need to post my weekly plan for meals and meal prep and an in-the-moment diary of what really went down and how it made me/my husband/my son feel and act.
Hope you’re ready because I sure as hell am.